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MEN: The following are FEMALE rules!
My wife made me post these here after I posted the MEN's rules on the HeartnMemphis Site
Please bear with me on this ... I was having to sleep on the couch until I did post these!!!

FEMALE Rule # :

1. DISCLAIMER: The GUY's rules are inadmissible in ANY "Court of LAW", "Court of LOVE" or even the "Court of LIFE". As such, GUY's RULES are delared "NULL and VOID". Furthermore, these FEMALE rules are delared the OFFICIAL standard in all MALE/FEMALE relationships.
2. Toilet seats are for covering the bowl. So! ... MEN, put the seat down over the bowl. You're a big boy now ... get over it.
3. MEN with rules???? You jest, right???? ... First of all - men should follow a few rules themselves - before making up any rules for us FEMALES to follow.
4. GUYS, your rules sound like you are the ones who are bitching. Isn't that what you usually accuse us FEMALES of doing? Did you actually read your OWN rules!!!
5. We FEMALES already know that you MEN have your SPECIAL male ATTACHMENT. We don't care to hear you brag about how HUGE it is.
6. Again on size: MEN are the ones who get excited and care about size - we GIRLS don't. Only brag to your buddies about that sort of thing.
7. MEN's constant scratching seems more like fondling of their own crotch.
8. Again on the "scratching thing": When MEN sensually hold their dong out from their leg while they scratch - then you should learn to point it in another direction - not at us females.
9. Since most of you MEN flirt, then don't complain when we do the same thing.
10. GIRLS: Don't believe it when MEN blame their sexual frustration on having had too much alcohol to drink.
11. If MEN expect us to trim and wax - then FEMALES expect MEN to trim - at the very least.
12. Yes! We FEMALES like to buy shoes and clothes. MEN like to buy 4-wheelers, motorcycles, new golf clubs, expensive season tickets ... That should be more than just a mild "stand-off" ... although SPENDING the most money is still in your favor. Will you ever be able to comprehend!!!
13. MEN: On your having only one good suit and one pair of leisure wear, it is perfectly acceptable to have more.
14. MEN: Yes! Putting on a touch of male cologne for us is perfectly acceptable. Try it, you might like it!!!
15. It's quite OK for girls to fake orgasms - because MEN could never accept the fact that they were a failure during that session.
16. Since MEN's mommies didn't "housebreak" them - then FEMALES should not expect to be able to do so!
17. Always remember that if MEN are not housebroken by age 19, then they are forever doomed to be a pig.
18. MEN: If you are a guest at someone else's house or if you are at home, you should still pick up after yourself. We are not your MOM and besides ... That's NOT our job.
19. MEN should learn that couches are for seating more than one person.
20. Potato shapes for MEN are no more pleasant for us FEMALES to look at - than it is for you to see FEMALES in that shape.
21. MEN seem to have "Selective Hearing".
22. What part of "NO" do you GUY's not understand???
23. The first letter of all subjects, that you always care to discuss, does NOT start with an "s" ... as in MEN's two favorites, sex and sports. You might find that it behooves you to learn about other subjects for discussing also.
24. MEN: Beg us to go out with you while NOT wearing undies - all you want to. ... And maybe we will do just that when pigs can fly or else when you stop wearing any undies yourself ... first.

Sleeping on the couch wasn't that bad for a few nights. But! I did get tired of "camping out" after awhile ... especially eating my own cooking all the time!!!.

Forums /a> and let everyone know your thoughts!!!